Everyone says children are a gift from God, an extension of us and a legacy no one can take away from us. It is said that children are the fruit of marriage and that they should take their rightful place in the marriage. This is all very well.
The Symptoms:
This morning as I drove to work a woman wrote in to my favorite radio station and she said she is a single mother of two but is struggling with giving her children the time and resources they require because she is so busy trying to earn a living and is tired all the time. Her words were tinged with despair at the thought that she is failing her children. She sounded distraught and against a wall and my heart went out to her.
The Trigger and Some Context:
Everyone prepares for marriage and there is much ado about it. Who is preparing people for parenting? Who is holding a parent’s hand through the joys and pains of raising children in a tumultuous relationship, absence of a spouse, special needs environment or even an adoptive environment.
Our parents the baby boomers had it a little easier. In Africa these were the first generation in the cities so they could call on extended family anytime. They had established family support structures and the community raised the child. They could afford to sit back and handle busy careers because back then few women had careers anyway.
Today the story is different. Our parents are in the city, with even busier lives than ours. The nanny business is highly commercialised and impersonal and broken homes and single parents drowning with unrealised dreams, demanding schedules and loneliness seem to be the order of the day.
The Challenge:
So how do we reach out? How do we help?
Coping with career demands and relationships in this era is hard enough without the pressure of a wide pair of innocent eyes looking o you for a future. This is a huge issue that is fast becoming a source of depression and developmental issues in parents and children respectively so we need to stand and take note. To recognise that a remedy is urgently needed and to apply our hearts and intellect to solving this problem.
This will be a series of deliberate actions and testimonials from other parents. Your comments thoughts and wisdom are welcome here.
