Free

HMMM…

It’s funny how clear things look, when you are not in the picture.
The question always crops up ' Is this all it was?'

All this went through my mind,

As i watched the sun set,

 Its warm gentle rays, receding into the horizon.
Suddenly I didn't want this day to end..

I didn't want the darkness to descend.
For I knew that this was it...

That this dusk, was the midday of my life

And there would never be a moment

This beautiful…or sad...

A sigh escaped through my patched lips,

As I looked down at my hands,

Where they clutched my belly...
'This is it' I thought; 'this is life...'

I felt a gentle warmth envelope me...

And suddenly,

 I was not afraid...

 He was here...

Here to take me home

Oh! And He knew...

He knew my regrets...

He would find someone else...

I was not in control,

I was not irreplaceable,

I didn’t have to be…

I opened my hands and watched

As my life ebbed out onto the ground...

Soaking the little patch of earth I sat on...
Dust to dust...ashes to ashes...

I felt no pain...I was just so tired, and so sleepy…

Yet I was also so relieved...finally,

A place I could just be,

A place without pain… or failure...home...
I slowly sank into the warmth,

As from a distance I heard

The anguished voices of my loved ones...
I wondered why they wept..

Surely they should be relieved?

At least I was…

At last.